For Better or Worse
by Wreckless Righter
Summary: Sawyer and Kate have been through a lot over the years. But nothing compares to what comes in the next chapter of their lives with their new son. But trouble always did have a way of finding them. Or did they have a way of finding it? **A surprise FIFTH installment to the Sawyer and Kate series I started 4 years ago!**
1. Chapter 1

**Rated: PG-13**  
**Beta Reader: Stacy**

Author's "Quickie" Note:  
[This will probably be the longest "Quickie" I post, just because it's the beginning.]

Hello to all!

If there are any readers from the previous stories that miraculously showed up to read this continuation please don't hesitate let me know in your review! I'd love to know, although I do realize it's been 4 years since the last story ended so I have no expectations.

To newcomers reading this story, I want to mention that there _are_ 4 stories previous to this one listed in my profile. It's not entirely necessary to read them all before this, except that there may be a few references to events that took place in them. In fact, I know that the first two are complete crap so I don't blame you if you skip them. But if you like, go ahead and catch up then come back to this. Your choice.

Onward to the story now, just a few things...

1. I don't think I will be updating this one as quickly as the last four. Adult life is just much more time consuming than teenage life so I write when I can. So far I have 3 full chapters written and ready to go, and 4 more that are not consecutive and need editing. So please, I beg, bear with me! =)

2. I know this is a very very short introductory chapter, and I apologize but there was no way to lengthen it. It had to happen this way. I promise they all have more length.

3. I realize that the ending-not-ending of "Baby Steps" already has Kate and Sawyer and baby Mason at home and well. However, the introduction to this story is just a little backtracking to kind of help jump back into it, as it's been quite a while. So we took a slight step back and flash backwards, if that makes any sense. If it bothers you that much, feel free to carry on with your web browsing. Otherwise...

Let the games begin. *smirk*

**Chapter 1**

One week. One long, hellish, never-ending week. When the doctor had first told Sawyer there had been a turn for the worst, he thought that would be it. There would be no happy ending for him, after all. There was only and always _the worst_. He never thought the _worst_ would mean spending a week driving back and forth to the hospital to see Kate and their son and enduring visitors, both wanted and not, while they were nursed back to health. If that was the _worst_, he would take it. Because to him, the only 'worst' part of that week was the moment he'd been told. The hours of waiting to find out when this _worst_ would end. And the _worst_ had lasted a day. They had saved Kate. And she was fully awake the next afternoon, reassuring him she was okay. And their healthy baby boy was just that and only kept a few days more for observation because of his premature birth. Even though things always miraculously got better, their life was always filled with _the worst_. Why shouldn't it be consistent?

Opening the door to his house, Sawyer stepped through to allow Kate to follow him in. He took the overnight bag from her and set it down on the couch. She smiled at him. Normally, she would have protested that she could handle herself but decided just this once to accept it and be glad to be home again. It was the only home she'd ever known to be her own, the only place she'd ever felt safe in. And she loved that. She loved the different smells in each room and the faded walls, even the cracks in the wood floor. She loved the ratty old couch that Sawyer refused to replace, the creaky stairs and the bedroom they led up to that smelled always of Sawyer.

She stood in the doorway, Mason in arms, and looked around, remembering the night she took her first step in that house – the first night she stepped back into Sawyer's life. It had been one of her better decisions, finding her way to his doorstep. Together they'd gone to Hell and back and never let the devil get the better of their relationship; even if temptation reared it's ugly head; even when they gave into it. They still managed to love each other as passionately as the day they'd met. Together they found home, in each other.

"You comin' in or what, Freckles?" Sawyer asked, snapping her out of her trance.

She took a step through the threshold and let out the breath she had been holding. He walked over to her and put an arm around her shoulders, his lips against her ear.

"Welcome home, baby," he whispered to her and kissed her temple.

_Home_, she thought to herself as she watched him walk to the kitchen. She looked down at Mason who was looking around with wide green-blue eyes that matched hers. Smiling, she sighed.

"Welcome home," she said softly to the baby in her arms.

Sawyer reappeared. He looked around then finally rested his gaze on Kate and Mason.

"Now what?"

And it was a good question.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's "Quickie" Note:**

Okay, I'm feeling a little awful about posting such a short beginning to this so I'm bestowing the second chapter upon you. As always, enjoy! And never be afraid to review! Criticism is welcomed.

**Chapter 2**

The first night with Mason (and Kate) home turned into a disaster. Neither Kate nor Sawyer had slept much. Even Mason, who had decidedly slept in intervals, got more sleep than the two of them combined. Between getting up to feed him and change him and calm him down there was no time left.

By sunrise, Mason had finally fallen asleep for another of his intervals. Having given up on sleep, Sawyer and Kate retreated to the kitchen for coffee in hopes that it would keep them running for the next round. While Sawyer filled the filter with grinds, Kate rested her head in her arms on the table. Sawyer leaned back against the counter and rubbed his face, exasperatedly, until he saw Kate through his fingers.

"You taggin' out already, Freckles?" he joked, tiredly.

"Hmm?" she moaned.

He took a seat at the table with her while the aroma of coffee filled the kitchen.

"This kid is gonna be the death of us."

"Mmm," she moaned again, in agreement.

He leaned back, grinning. "Any other intelligent comments?"

She finally lifted her head up and exhaled. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why doesn't he stay asleep?"

"Hell if I know. He's _your _kid," he responded.

"Yours too," she mumbled.

He closed his eyes for the moment. "Be nice to try to get some sleep while he is."

"You already know what'll happen if we do."

He opened his eyes, frowning. "Yeah, I know."

"The minute our heads hit the pillow."

"Kid's got some spidey senses in him."

She smiled. "He gets it from you."

"Why do I always gotta be the culprit? You're no gem, yourself, sweet cheeks."

"Yeah," she replied, getting up to retrieve the coffee, "but I'm nowhere near as stubborn as you are." He sighed. "What, no clever comeback?"

He thought for a moment. "Fresh outta juice, right now."

"That's a first," she said, placing a steaming mug in front of him.

After a brief silent interlude, he finally spoke. "As far as stubborn goes, maybe I got the lot, but you're the one who can't stay put. He gets it from you."

She sat back down and looked at him for a moment from behind her coffee then started to laugh. He raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what he'd missed.

"That wasn't s'posed to be funny."

"I know," she said between breaths.

He shook his head, grinning. "You really are tired, Freckles."

Deciding not to tell him she was actually laughing _at him_, she just nodded, and continued to laugh. Sawyer just shook his head at her and sipped his coffee. He glanced out the sliding doors and saw a light flurry of snowflakes blowing wildly in the wind. New Year's was still a day away, he remembered. Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't realized Kate's laughter had subsided. She was just watching him, her hands wrapped around her mug, concealing the warmth in it. When he did look back at her, she lifted the mug and sipped trying to look inconspicuous but failed.

"What?" he asked, suspiciously.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked.

He shrugged and looked back outside. "It's snowin'."

She looked too. "Barely."

He turned back to her. "Tomorrow's New Year's."

Her eyebrows raised, her expression amused. "And you want to celebrate?" He shot her a cynical look, making her smile.

"I was just sayin'. But hell," he smirked, "if you wanna crack a bottle seein' as you can drink now..."

She shook her head, grinning. "I just got out of the hospital last night. I don't think alcohol is the best idea."

"Party pooper," he teased.

She just laughed, still shaking her head at him.

"We could play 'I Never'." His devilish grin appeared and he leaned forward into the table. "For old time's sake?"

"When has that ever ended well for us?"

He sat back again, dismissing her comment. "Ain't like there's much that we haven't done by now anyway."

She considered the thought for a moment then came up with a retort she knew he would get a kick out of.

"I've never had a threesome."

He threw his hands in the air. "All right, where's the bottle?"

She laughed again, shaking her head. "I should've known."

"We can still make that happen, you know."

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Before he could answer, she added, "Nevermind."

He shrugged. "Well, ask a stupid question..."

"Uh-huh."

Now he was intrigued, and just a little bit more awake. He leaned forward, over the table, staring at her, a question in his eyes.

"What?"

"So you never considered it or it just never happened?"

"Let it go, Sawyer."

"What? I am genuinely curious, Freckles. Would you have a threesome?"

She scoffed. "I'm too tired for this conversation."

"No, no. Don't go avoiding the question now."

Before she could answer, Mason's crying sounded. Letting out a long sigh, Kate stood.

"My turn."

"Saved by the wails," Sawyer joked, grimly. "Hey!" he called after her. When she turned, he dimpled. "You wanna have a threesome?"

She just smiled, shaking her head and headed up the stairs to their baby.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's "Quickie"** Note:

:) I'm glad you guys are liking it.

**bonboni -** You are the first and only person from 4 years ago that has made an appearance so far. Gave me an extra smile! :D

I hate that I have to do this because I'm really not a fan of it, but a time lapse makes things a little easier on me to be more realistic and consistent. I thoroughly apologize.

**Chapter 3**

Kate came back downstairs to find Sawyer lying on the couch, eyes closed, seemingly asleep. She rounded the couch and sat on the arm beside his feet.

"There is no way you get to sleep if I don't," she nudged him.

"Bull pucky," he mumbled.

"Oh really?"

She slid down the arm and onto his legs, causing his eyes to fly open. He grinned up at her then grabbed her arm and pulled her completely on top of him. She laughed, pushing the few loose strands of hair out of her face. She propped herself up on her elbows against his chest. He raised his eyebrows, slightly, at the gesture.

"Comfy?"

"Yeah."

"Me too," he dimpled.

She rolled her eyes, realizing just how happy he was to have her on top of him. He leaned up and slid his hand against her face, pulling her closer for a long, gentle kiss. Just as his hands began to travel downwards, Mason was right on cue. Kate broke away, sighing. Sawyer groaned.

"Christ, he's the kid that never sleeps."

"Lemme up," she said, pulling out of his grasp.

"Just let him cry himself back to sleep," he suggested, pulling her back to him by the waist.

"Oh, that's nice."

"What? It's s'posed to be good for him. Self-soothing something or other."

She looked down at him, surprised. He let his head fall back against the couch.

"Don't gimme that look."

She laughed. "I'm sorry."

"_Sure_," he muttered.

"I can't be surprised and maybe even a little proud of you for knowing more than I do?" she smiled down at him, trying to make her voice sound less teasing than it did. He sighed in mock defeat and cupped her face.

"And how am I supposed to argue with that?"

She leaned closer, her lips a breath away from his and whispered, "You're not."

He closed the distance in a kiss until she broke away and got off of both him and the couch.

"What gives?" he complained, sitting halfway up.

"I can't let him cry," she laughed, walking toward the stairs.

"Thought you were tougher than that, Freckles," he called after her.

She just shook her head, smiling as he settled back into the couch.

"Hey, Freckles!" he called once more. She stopped midway on the staircase and looked over her shoulder at him. He grinned, mischievously. "If I cry, you gonna run and comfort me too?"

"If you cry, hell'll freeze over."

* * *

The first few months with Mason went by as fast as the winter did. By mid-March, the air was warming up and buds were appearing on the trees. In those three and a half months, Mason had grown to what was considered a normal size. He had been a very minimal effort infant for those first three months, only waking during the night when hungry or in need of a changing. Sawyer and Kate considered themselves lucky, until halfway through the fourth month when the teething began. All bets were off and sleep, again, became a distant dream for the two. Even Mason, who had decidedly slept in very short spans now, got more sleep than Kate and Sawyer combined. Between getting up for the usual feeding and changing, and now trying to find ways to calm him and ease his pain, time just ran out.

He wasn't sleeping through the night yet, and probably wouldn't be any time soon, so Kate decided they would have to take turns taking care of him when he'd wake. Sawyer had other plans. Plans that involved sleeping and not crying babies. The conman came out of the dark as he pretended to still be asleep if the baby woke letting the responsibility fall on Kate. It didn't last long, however, as she pulled the same move on him. And his tolerance for Mason's crying was very short lived.

One morning Kate awoke and found the bed empty. Confused, she got up and went across to Mason's nursery but to her surprise it was also empty. With a slight twinge of fear in her stomach she headed downstairs. What she found stopped her halfway down the flight and melted away the fear. Her heart filled with warmth. Sawyer was stretched out on the couch, the baby lying facedown on his stomach. Both were fast asleep. A bottle of whiskey and an empty glass sat on the glass coffee table beside Mason's half empty formula bottle.

Kate slowly descended the rest of the stairs which creaked, slightly. Sawyer turned his head, slowly waking up. The first thing he saw when his eyes finally opened was Kate standing against the banister of the stairs, watching them.

"What?" he grumbled.

"Just wishing I had a camera," she teased.

He looked down at Mason who started to stir in bewilderment. He looked at his father with wide eyes then bowed his head against Sawyer's chest, preparing for a good cry.

"You didn't put that in his bottle, did you?" Kate asked half-jokingly, eyeing the whiskey as she picked Mason up off of Sawyer.

"Little bit of liquor never hurt no one," he said, playfully.

"Nice parenting."

"Take it easy, Freckles," he groaned, sitting up. "I'm just messin' with you."

"Were you?" she asked him, accusingly.

He smiled, wryly. "It helped him sleep longer, didn't it?"

She sighed, disappointedly. "That's not the point. You don't give babies alcohol."

"Says who?"

"It's common sense, Sawyer. Why would you even _think _it was okay?"

"I thought it might ease his pain!" he reasoned. "And guess what? It _did_. Not to mention it helped the kid sleep!"

"That's not the point," she repeated.

"Well, pardon me sweetheart, I was just trying to get some shut eye for once."

"You have a baby now, Sawyer. You're going to have to sacrifice."

"Why don't we try'n start this day over again, _nicely_?" he tried.

"Forget it." She shook her head and retreated to the kitchen.

Realizing he had to try to turn the situation around, Sawyer groaned and got up to head toward the kitchen. Kate was sitting at the table with Mason on her lap, looking down at him, distressed. Sawyer stared for a moment, eyebrows furrowed, slightly confused as to how she could be so upset over something miniscule. He got a sense that it may have been something else, but decided to let it go. Instead, he braced himself for what he was about to say.

"Look, I'm _sorry_ I gave the kid a little whiskey." Kate looked away from him, refusing his apology. "It was just a drop. Ain't like I boozed him up or somethin'."

"It doesn't matter, it's still not good for him."

"Duly noted," he sat, miserably.

His sitting finally caught Kate's attention. Her expression eased, a little. She regretted making him feel bad, but he was still in the wrong.

"I just don't want to make a habit of it."

"You're getting a little carried away now, Freckles."

"I know you, Sawyer. When you find something that works, you stick with it."

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"Why do I get the feeling this just stopped bein' about the baby?"

"Nevermind. Just...go back to the couch." She looked down at Mason again. "I've got this."

"No. I wanna know what the hell you meant by that."

"I didn't mean anything."

"Don't lie to me, Freckles."

"Sawyer..."

"You sayin' I'm a one trick pony or somethin'?"

She smiled, laughingly. "No."

"Then you mind tellin' me what you're sayin'?"

"I'm _saying _don't give our son alcohol anymore."

"That ain't what you're saying and you know it." She just raised her eyebrows, keeping her mouth shut. Sawyer nodded, knowingly. "Yeah, you keep your secrets. That's what you're good at."

Kate narrowed her eyes at him as he pushed his chair back and stood. He paused for a moment, seemingly in thought, before he spoke again with his usual roguish grin.

"And you know what I'm good at, so you know I'll get it out of you later, either way."

"Is that a threat?" she met the devilish glint in his eyes with her own.

"That's a promise."


	4. Chapter 4

It's all *cricket chirp; cough; wolf howl* around here...****

Chapter 4

Later that afternoon, Sawyer was sent out on a diaper run. Kate was disgruntled that he could never get the size right and this was his third time going back to the store. He stopped along the way for gas and to replenish the pack of cigarettes he'd finished between the three trips, though truthfully, he was just thankful to have the solitude of his truck for a while. Kate had been moody all day, likely due to the lack of sleep and stress of Mason's teething. Claire's suggestion of a teething ring didn't work and Charlie's suggestion from the background of the phone call of using a few drops of alcohol just angered both women. Sawyer decided maybe the Brit wasn't as bad as he thought.

He still hadn't gotten an answer to his question from the morning out of Kate. But he planned on finding a way later in the night when Mason was asleep. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was just a projection of something much bigger tugging at the back of her mind. Maybe it was just his imagination. He hoped it was. After everything that had happened in the past few years, he could use a break. If a teething baby was the hardest thing they had to get through for a while it would be a blessing.

Sawyer stopped briefly at The Parlor before heading home. Knowing that cooking an actual meal was becoming a rarity these days, he figured he would get some food to take home. He chatted with Cassie while he waited, updating her on their life. Until she asked, he'd completely forgotten about Mackenzie. He told her he guessed the cat was okay, even though he didn't remember seeing him too recently. Cassie thought maybe the baby's crying scared him off. Sawyer held no convictions. When the food was done, he and his friend parted ways and he set off home.

He walked into the house and threw his keys on the mantle, along with his cigarettes. The house looked empty but Mason's crying echoed. He called Kate's name but got no response. He forced his fear to turn to anger as he stomped up the stairs to the nursery. He found Mason in his crib sobbing, half-chokingly. His face was beet red and tear stained. Sawyer picked his son up, trying to shh him.

"Easy, big guy. You're all right," he said, softly.

The baby calmed down almost instantly. For a moment, Sawyer was annoyed that he was cursed with having a calming effect with babies. Wasn't his idea of fair. But he let it go, and his eyebrows furrowed as he grew concerned as to why Kate wasn't there. He looked around the nursery, worriedly, then back down at Mason. Mason looked back up at him, eyes wet and wide. One thing at a time, he figured.

Sawyer saw a bottle of formula sitting on the dresser and picked it up on his way to sit in the white rocking chair Charlie and Claire had given them. Claire had claimed that Aaron had loved to be rocked when he was an infant and it could have the same effect on Mason. Sawyer had no intentions of ever sitting in it but for some reason fate was always a fickle bitch to him. Fate must've been a woman, he decided.

He cradled Mason and let him drink the formula, while he contemplated what to do next. It was eerily silent for a while, except for Mason's sporadic whining in pain.

"How did you know?" Kate startled him.

He looked up at her for a moment, then back down at Mason as he answered, "I didn't. I guessed."

Her eyes were as puffy as Mason's and her expression even wearier. Her curls were a wild mess around her wet reddened face and her arms were hugged close against her.

"Thought you didn't wanna let him cry it out," he said, his anger slowly growing again.

"I didn't," she spoke softly, her voice wavering.

"Well he was crying bloody murder, when I got here."

"You're gonna wake him if you get any louder," she nodded her head forward.

He looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms. Annoyed that she was right, he got up and put the bottle back on the dresser and Mason into his crib. Kate disappeared again. He stepped out and closed the door behind him. He saw Kate across the way sitting on their bed, gripping the edges, and let his anger become full blown by the time he walked in the room.

"Where the hell were you?"

"Here," she looked down at the floor. "I was here."

"Doing what?"

She shook her head, fighting back tears. "He wouldn't stop crying. I couldn't - "

"So you just left him?"

"I didn't know what to do, Sawyer. I'm not you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

She closed her eyes, finally losing her grip. The tears began to fall. "I _can't_do this."

"Can't do what?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't know what to do with him," she cried, her eyes flying open. "I feel like nothing I do is right!"

"So you just walked away?"

"I'm scared, Sawyer. I'm no good at this!"

"I'm no expert either, Freckles." He sat beside her now, his anger subsiding. "Hell, I don't know anymore than you do what I'm doing with him."

"You're better than I am," she laughed. "How's that for irony?"

"You're kiddin' yourself, Freckles."

"You know what my first instinct is every time he cries?"

"Whiskey?" he teased.

She closed her eyes, smiling, but it faded quickly. "I wanna run."

Sawyer said nothing, but raised his eyebrows at the ground, not surprised.

"I wanted to today," she said quietly. "I almost packed a bag."

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I'm not cut out to be a mother."

"Oh, and I am?" He bowed his head, slightly. "You know what I mean."

"I don't want to mess up," she said softly, her voice full of tears. "I don't want to be the reason he doesn't turn out right."

"Sweetheart, he's got two ex-cons for parents. If he doesn't turn out right, no one'd be surprised."

She laughed. "That's not funny."

"Yeah, it is. A little." He wiped the tears from her face. "He doesn't need to know who we were, Freckles."

"How do I stop wanting to run?"

"You won't. It's who you are."

"Shockingly, not helping," she half-sobbed, half-laughed.

"Well, you want the truth or you want me to spin some crap about rainbows and unicorns?"

She stared at him, searching his eyes for the answer but she already knew it. He was right. She wouldn't stop feeling the need to run. It was who she was. She nodded.

"The truth."

"Well in that case..." he smirked, "The next time you try to yell at me about the whiskey I'm gonna throw in your face how you wanted to run away."

"That's not fair," she laughed, brushing her knees off to get up.

"Oh, it's more than fair," he got up too. "In fact, what you did is worse, sweet cheeks."

"Not true," she said over her shoulder as she waked through the doorway.

Catching her off guard, Sawyer grabbed her waist from behind. He scooped her up and brought her back to the bed, despite her protesting, and kicked the door shut behind him.

"He'll wake up!"

"So we'll do it your way," he looked down at her, smiling smugly. "Let him cry."

"Bastard," she muttered just before his lips devoured hers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Quickie:**

My apologies for the long wait between updates. I'm, again, juggling two stories at once. And I had hit a block with this one and continued working on the other, and blah blah blah. Excuses. I know. So sorry!

**bonboni**- My one faithful. lol "love the small mentions of other characters- claire, aaron etc." :D I always smiled while writing the mentions of other characters. It's like a little... "oh yeah!" moment. Hehe. Glad you're liking it.

So uh...is anybody out there reading? You should definitely review and let me know. ;)

**Chapter 5**

Since Kate's meltdown, things had been a little quieter at the house. It wasn't so much a matter of walking on eggshells, and the comfort level wasn't exactly nil. In fact, they seemed to have grown closer for it. But a lingering fear remained, haunted. Neither of them wanted to screw up or show any sign of weakness. They didn't want to admit that they were criminals, not parents. So they had to prove themselves. One way or the other.

Soon, Mason had started sleeping in longer periods of time. Hours, instead of minutes. Kate and Sawyer were finally able to get a few hours of sleep at night or during the day. They were both infinitely more relaxed than they had been for a while.

During Mason's nap, one afternoon, Kate had taken to the couch to relax and watch TV. Any social contact that wasn't a cooing baby was welcomed. And as if on cue, the black and white splotched stray that Kate had rescued peeped it's head around the corner of the couch. Kate's eyes lit up in surprise. This was the first time in months she had seen Mackenzie. The only way she'd known he was still around was by filling his bowl every morning. By the end of the day, it was magically empty. But no one had ever seen him come out to eat. Funny little guy, he was.

She held her hand out to him and he jumped up onto the arm of the couch. She gently stroked his back and he arched to her hand. As she scratched behind his ears, he leapt into her lap. A few minutes later Sawyer appeared on the stairs. He looked almost as surprised to see their furry friend again.

"Should start calling him Houdini," he joked, descending. "Now you see him."

Kate looked up and acknowledged his joke with a small smile. He sat on the couch beside her.

"That's the first time in a long time I've seen you holding something that ain't the baby," he said, giving the cat an affectionate pat on the head.

Kate glanced at him, then smiled and continued petting Mackenzie. "He hasn't been around much."

"Cassie thinks maybe the kid scared him off. All the crying."

She peered up at him from the corner of her eye. "Really."

"What? Why you looking at me like that?"

She pursed her lips, with what looked like an expression of contemplation. Whatever it was she was thinking about, Sawyer couldn't decipher. So he waited. And in a moment's time, she answered him.

"Why can't you call him by his name?"

"Who?"

"Our son," she explained, flatly.

"What're you talking about?"

"You always refer to him as 'the kid', 'the baby', 'he', 'it'. I don't get it."

He shrugged. "Didn't realize I was doing it."

"I did."

"You notice too much," he grumbled.

Kate laughed. "Would you like me to stop noticing you, Sawyer?"

"Hell no."

He leaned over and kissed her, soft and slow, dizzyingly. When he pulled away, Mackenzie jumped off Kate's lap. Kate grinned as her eyes fluttered open.

"You know a kiss doesn't solve everything."

"In a perfect world it would."

"Is it something from your past? Your parents?"

And just like that, the were back on track. That was Kate. Like an elephant, she'd never forget a thing. Sawyer shifted uncomfortably. His parents were a touchy subject. He decided to hide his pain with humor, as per usual.

"You gonna pick my brain now, Dr. Freud?"

She raised her eyebrows in amusement. "I just want to know what's up with this detachment you have from your son."

"Detachment? You really gonna shrink me right now, Freckles?"

"Don't deviate."

"I already told you, I didn't realize I was doing it."

"Maybe it's something in your subconscious."

"All right," he groaned, getting up. "That's enough of that."

"And it was just getting fun," she pouted, playfully.

He rounded the couch and stopped just behind where she was sitting. He leaned over close to her ear. He brushed back her curls so that his lips were barely an inch from her lobe.

"How 'bout I give you something else to analyze?" he murmured.

"You have such a way with words," she responded.

As he leaned down to kiss her again, a short knock at the door interrupted. They both turned their heads and stared at the door.

"Expecting company?" Kate asked.

"No. You?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I have so many friends in Tennessee."

"Easy," he warned, walking to the door. "Sounding a little bitter there, sweet cheeks."

"Whatever, Sawyer."

Mason had chosen that exact moment to wake up. Kate's face fell, as well as her shoulders. Sawyer glanced back at her.

"Want me to?" he offered.

"I got him," she said, rising. Another knock sounded. She nodded at it. "You get that."

"Yes ma'am."

"I like that," she laughed, heading up the stairs.

He grinned after her while pulling the door open. When he turned to look and see who it was, the only words that came to mind were short, sweet and to the point: _Oh shit..._


	6. Chapter 6

**Quickie Note:  
**

**Animorphgirl -**It's kind of an AU story, actually. It started out on the island. I began writing this whole series after season 1 ended and continued until the show ended. It wound up going in an AU direction though. But even in this AU, there's some practice. Clementine and Aaron have both made appearances. But still. It's different when it's your own child.

**nutella4eva** - Honestly, no need to apologize for not reading the first two. In my opinion, the writing in those three was crap anyway. lol I was only 15 when I wrote the first two. And the third one got a little redundant, but people seemed to love it. I guess every writer is their own worst critic, though. By all means, read if you wish. But you're not missing too much. :) By all means, feel free to spam my inbox with reviews. Ah love em! I know what you mean about unrecognizable characters. It's my biggest pet peeve ever when it comes to fanfiction. I like when the characters are actually written true to who they are. It feels more genuine that way. **  
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**Big thanks to all who are reading and reviewing! It means a lot, considering this fandom has died down pretty immensely. :)**

**Chapter 6**

Sawyer stood momentarily frozen as he gazed at the man before him. He stood at five eleven, maybe six feet, completely decked out in a charcoal grey Armani suit, a white collar button down and navy tie. His short dark hair was slicked back, the sun's beams reflecting off of it in a bright contrast to his worn stubble dotted face. Glowering blue eyes stared back at Sawyer's shocked expression with derision.

"I thought you'd have moved by now," the man said, his voice as coarse as he looked.

"I thought you'd be dead by now," Sawyer joked grimly. He stepped out of the house, closing the door behind him carefully. The man let out a small laugh.

"Can't kill what isn't meant to die, ain't that right? Tell me, how was that island getaway of yours?"

"What do you want, Gus?" Sawyer asked, growing annoyed.

"Can't I just stop by to see my old friend?"

"We ain't friends. And even if we were, you ain't the kinda friend who'd visit."

"But I am the kind that would show up unannounced," Gus pointed out, his expression all too amused.

Sawyer shook his head and noticed Kate sitting on the couch with Mason through the window. Apparently, so had Gus. He put his arm around Sawyer's shoulder with a smile, making him entirely uncomfortable and angry at the same time. They walked out of her line of view toward the back of Sawyer's driveway where his truck sat.

"We gotta lot of catchin' up to do, friend."

Sawyer shrugged out of Gus's embrace and turned to him. "Just tell me what the hell you want, already."

"You know what I want, Ford."

Sawyer's heart dropped, and he knew it was true. He'd just been hoping that since so much time had passed, his "friend" might have forgotten, or even thought him dead. Clearly, that was not the case. Gus cocked his head, slightly.

"You think just cause you almost died playin' Gilligan on some island for a while I'd forget all about our _deal_?"

Sawyer's jaw clenched, his eyes lowering to the ground. Gus just nodded.

"Yeah, I figured you hadn't forgotten either."

"I been off the island for a while," Sawyer peered at him. "Why come now?"

Gus looked down at his nails, scratching his cuticles. "Been held up by business."

"Business," Sawyer scoffed. "Right."

"Don't you worry your pretty face about me. I'd be more worried about you," he smirked. "Now, how's about that money you owe me? And I hope I don't have to remind you how big an investment that was."

Sawyer ran his hand through his hair and sighed as he leaned back against Gus's car. Gus smiled, knowingly.

"Always were better at spendin' it than earnin' it, weren't you Ford?"

"Don't get me wrong, I _liked _earnin' it," he laughed, folding his arms. "But spending it's a helluva lot better."

"You bet it is," Gus laughed with him.

_Just two colleagues shooting the shit, _Sawyer thought, sarcastically. This was definitely about to get worse.

"Except when it's _my_ money," Gus's voice suddenly turned cold.

Sawyer shrugged. "No hard feelings?"

"Oh as long as you get me what you owe me, none at all."

"You gotta payment plan?" he joked.

Gus stared at him, a smile slowly forming. "You know, I always liked your sense of humor Ford."

Shaking his head, Gus grinned, but Sawyer knew he was getting pissed. He sighed, sensing this could go nowhere good. What could he do?

"Look, that's more'n I got in the bank right now," he admitted.

"That's not my problem."

"I can give you what I've got. It's nearly half."

"That's a no can do. Deal's a deal, you know that. You're just lucky I'm not askin' for interest."

Sawyer thought for a minute, then snickered. He straightened up putting forth his best 'nice guy' grin – dimples and all. "We're both businessmen. No reason we can't come to some sort of agreement."

Gus laughed, rubbing his chin. "I don't think you're understanding me."

Without hesitation he had slammed Sawyer's back against the truck with his arm across his chest, his elbow digging in hard. Sawyer winced in pain. Their faces were barely inches away from each other's, close enough for him to feel Gus's breath. Sawyer's eyes narrowed, mirroring the man's.

"You sold your soul to the devil a long time ago, Ford. And guess what? I _am _the Devil," he snarled. "And I'm here to collect. You want your soul back? You buy it back. You're gonna get me my money, no questions asked. Do I need to be clearer?" he asked, digging his elbow in harder with each word.

"Get your hands off me," Sawyer growled, shoving the man off of him, angrily.

Gus straightened back up, smoothing out his suit jacket and readjusting his tie, all the while his eyes glued on Sawyer's. The amused look returned to his face but his eyes stayed dark. He turned and started walking toward his own car, without a word. Sawyer watched Gus's back, heart pounding with desperation. He grunted and walked to the black Lincoln the man waited by.

"I get you the money, and that's it. You'll leave me alone?"

"For now."

"No," Sawyer stepped forward, in the man's face. "_For good._"

Gus grinned again. "Listen. You got a week to get me half. You do that, I'll give you a month to get the rest. Are we agreed?"

"I can't get that kinda money in a week," he reasoned, the first wave of panic flowing over him.

"I'm a fair man, Ford. I wouldn't ask you do anything you're not capable of. I have no doubts that you will give me what I want."

Sawyer glared at the dusty gravel, nostrils flared. There was no way he'd get out of this one. No easy way, anyway. Could he do it? Sure. But that wasn't the hard part. What about Kate?

"And what if I don't?" he asked, still not looking up.

Gus patted him on the back. "Just do yourself a favor and get the money." He opened the door to his car but before getting in, he stopped himself. "See you got yourself a nice little family now, Ford. Real nice. Be a shame to see them go down 'cause of a mistake you made."

Sawyer grabbed a fistful of Gus's shirt and threw him against his own car, the door closing against his back. He grinned darkly in the face of Sawyer's rage making Sawyer even angrier. This was all just a game to him.

"You touch one hair on their head and I'll - "

"You'll what?"

Sawyer just stared at him, eyes ablaze. Gus laughed again.

"You haven't changed one bit."

He patted Sawyer's cheek and reopened his car door once Sawyer backed off. His eyes flicked up at the house and he saluted the window with a genuine smile before getting in. Sawyer looked back and caught sight of Kate standing at the window, her expression curious. The ignition of the car turned his attention back but the car was already backing out.

Sawyer watched Gus drive off, ignoring the dust rising in a cloud around him. He fished his crumpled cigarette pack and lighter out and put the last one between his lips. Frustrated, he attempted to light it but only a few sparks flew out each time. His anger bettered him and he threw the cigarette in the wind. _Just peachy_, he thought to himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**"Quickie Note":**

**nutella4ever - **xD Gus is a self-created character. He's not in the series. I think Sawyer's more at risk at putting himself in danger than his family. Or at least, his relationship with Kate would be. P.S. - Just read all the reviews you left on Baby Steps. You're my favorite! :)

I feel terrible that updating this story is taking forever. I seem to have lost track of it in the midst of writing the other story I've been working on. I'm going to try harder though, promise!

**Chapter 7**

When he opened the door, Sawyer expected Kate to begin her interrogation. Instead, she gave him a few minutes which he took to relax on the couch before she began prying. She watched his body movements. He was sitting slouched on the couch with his arms folded, but his body was too rigid, shoulders tense, brow furrowed. Maybe it was nothing, but maybe it was something. The man she saw wouldn't have taken him away from the window for no reason. Something was wrong, but she knew he wouldn't tell her on his own or even tell her the truth. But she had to say something.

"Friend of yours?" she asked, sitting on the arm of the couch beside him.

He glanced at her, sideways. "Yup."

"Didn't think you had any of those," she teased.

"He's an _old _friend," he replied, shoulders tensing again.

She pulled one knee up to her chest and rested her chin on it. "You always throw your friends up against cars?"

He shook his head, slightly. "Just a misunderstanding."

"Okay," she said simply, not pushing any further.

This was a tactic she'd learn to use a long time ago, back when they were on the island. If you pushed Sawyer, you got nowhere. But if you showed interest without consistently pursuing, he'd come to you. So far it was fail proof.

Uncomfortable with the silence, Sawyer asked, "Where's the kid?"

She blinked slowly. "_Mason _is sleeping in his nursery."

He raised his eyebrows. "Kid's got timing."

"Like your friend," she responded, glancing at him sideways. He sniggered, nodding. Deciding one more nudge couldn't hurt, she tried again, lifting her head from her knee.

"What did he want, anyway?"

"What's with the third degree, Freckles?"

She raised her hands up in surrender. "Sorry I cared."

"Don't do that," he narrowed his eyes.

"I'm just trying to figure out what it is you're not telling me."

"Who says I'm not telling you anything?"

She looked at him, doubtfully. His shoulders slumped. _Got him_, she thought.

"He came by to invite me out, catch up on old times. All right?"

_Or not. _"I'm not stupid, Sawyer."

"Never implied," he rose, anger growing, and started for the door.

"Then don't treat me like I am."

He turned around angrily and opened his mouth respond but Mason's crying interrupted.

"That's your cue, sweetheart."

Kate watched him leave, slamming the door behind him. She sunk back into the couch, sighing in defeat. She glanced back at the closed door, then shook her head and got up to get a bottle for Mason.

* * *

Sawyer got into his truck and started the ignition. He gripped the steering wheel tightly for a moment then released it as he exhaled. _Alcohol_, he thought to himself. That was what he wanted right now. First things first, he needed to replenish his cigarettes. He pulled out of the driveway, the sound of gravel crunching beneath the tires somewhat comforting him. Once he hit the pavement, his head buzzed. What the hell was he going to do? He had a week to get half, and a month to get the rest. He weighed his options as he drove, putting down each one.

Skipping town would work for a little while, maybe, but he had no idea how to get that one past Kate. "Hey honey, let's go for a road trip. Forever. Why? Well, why not!" Yeah. That wasn't going to work. And they had the baby now, to think about. It wasn't as easy as just packing up the two of them and running for a while anymore. Raising a kid on the road didn't seem fair.

Somehow witness protection didn't seem like a plausible idea, but it was a fun one to think about. It wouldn't just be Sawyer's 'friends' they wouldn't have to deal with - they wouldn't have to deal with _anyone _from their past again. Like _Jack_. He smiled at the thought. Then again, he'd hidden behind a name most of his life, anyway. What good would it do to do it again? Plus, they hadn't really _witnessed _anything. Who would trust the witness of two ex-criminals anyway?

So what if he did go through with it? He knew how he'd have to do it. He knew all too well. He always loved sleeping with the women he'd conned, blowing their minds with things they'd never seen or even dreamt of. That was the easy part, the fun part. But when their faces lit up when they saw the money and made his idea their own... It brought on a sudden rush. He had to force himself to slow the truck down.

It had become a thrill to him, what he did. Not just about the money, but the power. Getting exactly what he wanted out of exactly who he wanted it from. They were dumb enough to trust him. He relished that. Women were so easy. Well, most of them.

Even if he did get the money, there was no fixing that with Kate if she ever found out. He'd be sleeping with women that weren't her. How would she handle that? If he told her it was just business, would it make a difference? Would she even care? He'd be going back to his old criminal ways. How would she take to _that_? But then she was a criminal too. Was it really all apples and oranges then? Because they seemed to be two peas in a pod. He briefly had a wonderful fantasy about the two of them working together to get the rest of the money. But that was just the movies, he reminded himself. Real life has blood. And he wouldn't put it on her hands.

Then a new thought struck him and he nearly veered off the road. They were in Tennessee, of all places. All the women combined in the entire state wouldn't have enough to pay the debt he owed. _Shit_, he thought. The realization almost sent his truck into a ditch. He steered quickly and his brakes screeched until he came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the yellow lines. Luckily, no one was on the road. He sat like that, dead smack in the center of the road, for a few minutes. He leaned his arm out the window, his fingers tapping idly against the truck. There wasn't enough money in Tennessee. He'd have to leave. There just wasn't enough.

"SHIT!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the trees.


End file.
